Sacred Intimacy
心が通い*

Important Notice Regarding COVID-19

Due to the ongoing COVID-19 crisis, I am not accepting in-person appointments at this time. However, I invite you to: ▸ Check out my erotic art gallery ▸ Read some of my blog entries ▸ Make a virtual services appointment Stay healthy, everyone!

Do you feel shame about your orientation, your body, or your kinks? Do bad or traumatic experiences in the past keep you from moving forward? From enjoying sex or dating or entering a relationship? Do you need someone to listen to you without judgment, to offer you a hug or a shoulder on which to cry?

As a Sacred Intimate, I create a safe and nurturing environment for my clients to explore their bodies, their hearts, and their erotic energy. I work with all levels of experience, from nervous beginners (including heterosexual men who may be questioning their orientation) to experienced hands looking to learn something new—and really, no matter how much anyone knows or has experienced, there is always something new or different to learn or try.

Despite its name, Sacred Intimacy has nothing to do with organized religion. Sacred Intimacy (a term coined by Joseph Kramer, the founder of The Body Electric School) is about sensual and erotic exploration for healing purposes and personal growth. Sacred Intimacy can help men deal with issues such as negative body image, internalized homophobia or ageism, performance anxiety, and traumatic experiences such as rape or abuse. It can also help counter sexual myths and misinformation.

Men, especially those of an older generation, are often taught to suppress emotions, particularly those of sadness or vulnerability, because “Only girls (or sissies) do that.” Suppressing such powerful emotions can have a toxic effect on one’s behavior, physical health, and emotional well-being. When unable to express or deal with such feelings, some may turn to alcohol or drugs or other addictions, or become consumed by bitterness, or become numb to any emotion. This can also affect their ability to work and socialize, as well as their relationships with friends, family, and partners. Sacred Intimacy is one way to work through these emotions in a positive way, just as exercising or sports can help release stress. Some sessions can be intense and emotional; you may experience joy, grief, shame, or anger; you might feel like laughing or crying (in the case of the latter, I have strong arms for giving hugs if desired). Sexual expression can be fun (and sometimes funny; laughter is good for the soul, after all), relaxing or invigorating or both, liberating, energizing, and transcendent.

Understandably, dealing with some of these issues can bring up feelings of vulnerability. If I feel your issues might require the help of a doctor (to diagnose and prescribe treatment) or a mental health worker (such as a psychiatrist or psychotherapist), I will let you know, for I am not either, and you should not view my work as a substitution for such care.

Sexual healing is good for me Makes me feel so fine, it’s such a rush Helps to relieve the mind, and it’s good for us

“Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye

What typically happens in a session?
Before an appointment I may send you a few questions to better determine what you hope to achieve, and to find out what issues or needs you have. First sessions with new clients may begin with a discussion of boundaries and limits: what one person enjoys, another person may find distasteful or discomforting. It’s important to speak candidly about what you like and don’t like, without trying to guess what the “correct” answers are (hint: there are none). If you feel embarrassed, it’s okay and natural, especially when you’re exploring new territory! These sessions are always confidential and non-judgmental. You may speak and feel freely here.

An exercise If you aren’t comfortable opening up to me—or anyone—about what’s on your mind or in your heart, one exercise you can do is to sit quietly at home, for a period when you will not be disturbed, and just speak aloud, and not just thinking to yourself, what you wish to express. You can also do this by writing your thoughts on a piece of paper, which you can shred or burn afterwards. By bringing your thoughts into the physical world, via spoken or written word, you give your thoughts and feelings credence. You will find just saying what you feel, even if you’re alone, can bring energy to you, because now you’ve made it part of the real world where action may take place.

I will also ask you to turn off or mute your electronic devices; how can one concentrate on healing and exploration if you’ve got one ear listening for calls? There may be music quietly playing or incense burning. The room will be illuminated by candles or soft lighting. The space may also be used for rest or reflection—a quiet oasis from the demands of life. This is your time for healing and exploration, and I do not have an agenda other than to help and educate you. So relax: there is no “performance expectation”.

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Sacred Intimacy sessions may include the following activities, either individually or in combination:

Role Play
Not to be confused with the role play described on the Kink Roleplay page.

Role play can help deal with past hurts or issues by giving you the chance to learn different responses. Remember, you are always in charge. If any activity becomes too painful or uncomfortable, just say so and we will stop or moderate the activity. At the same time, however, I invite you to share those feelings with me instead of merely asking to stop, but ultimately you decide how much you would like to disclose.

Practicing Communication
One of the myths about relationships is that love and sex take care of themselves as if by magic: good sex happens automatically because one is “in love”. But even the most intuitive of partners are not mind-readers. Perhaps you’re shy about asking for what you want; some people have difficulty just saying words like “cock” or “asshole”. But learning to do so comfortably is an important step towards communicating and achieving your desires.

Affection Therapy
This is the exchange of non-sexual affection, such as hugging or cuddling, holding and being held. People often seek sex when they really just want affection. Affection between men in our society is often regarded as “sissy”. We have a hard time asking for it, and fear rejection or ridicule.

... it is in no way “wrong” to feel what you feel and to want what you want. Emotions are an expression of our emotional truth, and truth cannot be wrong. Nor do they need to be justified. They just need to be felt.

“The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

Masturbation Training
Wouldn’t it be great to feel ecstatic pleasure for an hour instead of five minutes? What’s the hurry? Training places the emphasis on giving, receiving, and prolonging pleasure, not just racing to get off. And don’t judge your “performance” by what you see in porn (see Sex Myths). Even if you have erectile dysfunction, you can still enjoy masturbation.

Erogenous Zone Expansion
There’s more to sex besides penetration and ejaculation, and more pleasure zones on our bodies besides the genitals! Sacred Intimacy can be about discovering pleasure from what the participants bring to the table (or the bed). And while aging or disability can limit some avenues of pleasure, there are many others for you to discover.

Bodywork and Kink Exploration
Either or both may also be incorporated into Sacred Intimacy sessions or they may be scheduled separately. Sensual massage can also be a mutual activity with a few simple techniques anyone can learn. Kink activity is another way to expand one’s sexual pleasure, vocabulary, and awareness of one’s body and sensations. Some kinks are physical (such as fisting or flogging) and some are more mental (such as role-play or humiliation), although practitioners often experience a combination of the two.

If there is something you would like to explore, just ask! Depending on my own ability and experience, I might say yes, I might say no, or I might say maybe and help you find a middle ground.

Duration ▶	60 mins	90 mins	120 mins	each addtl 30 mins
▼ Offering
Sacred Intimacy	$120	$170	$220	$40

Find out for yourself how good it can feel by contacting me to begin the journey towards pleasure!

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*As “Sacred Intimacy” is a proper noun, I was unable to find an “official” translation into Japanese (in phonetic katakana it would be セーコレッド・インティメーシー, or seikoreddo intimeishii). The translation of the text at the top of this page (kokoro ga kayoi) is “an understanding of each other’s hearts” (literally, a commuting/going back and forth of hearts/spirits).